Neon Genesis Evangelion: Rebuild of A Missive from the Commander
by jesakofedo
Summary: A Rebuild of A Missive From The Commander. Gendo decides to display the antics of the NERV-1 staff in an attempt to prevent further incidents. It backfires spectacularly.
1. This is(n't) where it all starts

**Chapter 1:** This is(n't) where it all starts

 _ **A/N: This Fanfic is styled after**_ **Please Stop Eating the Hell Butterflies, By Mistress Nika.** ** _Some Ideas/Characterizations may be inspired by_** **Gregg Landsman's NGE:Nobody Dies, Shinji and Warhammer 40k by Charles Bhepin,** ** _and from the_** **Little Angel on My Shoulder** _ **thread on**_ **Spacebattles.**

* * *

The members and staff of NERV were a strange bunch, pulled from every field and discipline all to work together to save the world. As such, with all these people together, odd antics were bound to happen. And they did, causing Commander Ikari a great deal of grief. And it all came to a head when someone placed a whoopee cushion on the Commander's chair.

The very next day, several announcement boards appeared around NERV, an effort on Gendo's part to cause extreme embarrassment to such a degree that there would be no more shenanigans. It backfired horribly with just one wrong statement

* * *

 **A MISSIVE FROM THE COMMANDER**

After the recent increase of Antics among the staff, It is my intent to ensure that if you all act like fools, you will be treated as such. Your misdeeds will be publicly posted on these electronic boards all around NERV so that you will provide an example of what not to do for everyone else.

 **Akagi Ritsuko-** Using your position as Head of Project E to use the Simulators for the purpose of personal entertainment is an abuse of power. Those are training tools, not games.

 **Aoba Shigeru-** Playing Galaga when I'm not looking is a waste of valuable time and processing power. Cease this behavior now.

 **Ayanami Rei-** You are no longer allowed to accept Captain Katsuragi's offers to go clothes shopping. Get rid of that dress, it is not suited for a girl of your age.

 **Fuyutsuki Kozou-** My liquor cabinet is, as stated on said cabinet, for my use and my use only. Not yours. Stop stealing my scotch

 **Hyuga Makoto-** Your computer is neither intelligent, nor is it trying to kill you. That was a prank by Captain Katsuragi. Get back to work.

 **Ibuki Maya-** The Unit 00's Jet Strips are not to be used for sledding

 **Katsuragi Misato-** This list is not a challenge. Do not take it as such.


	2. These are(not) Shenanigans

**Chapter 2:** These are(not) Shenanigans

 **A MISSIVE FROM THE COMMANDER**

* * *

 **Akagi Ritsuko-** We are not making a fully mechanical giant robot to deal with the potential threats to the world. Without an AT Field, it would be useless and obsolete. Your time would be better spent dealing with the Evangelion power issues.

 **Aoba Shigeru-** Rei cannot eat souls, stop spreading rumors to that effect. Some of our personal are gullible enough to believe them.

 **Ayanami Rei-** Aoba was lying, you cannot eat souls.

 **Fuyutsuki Kozou-** I will install security measures on my Liquor Cabinet if you do not stop stealing my scotch. Stop blaming Captain Katsuragi for it

 **Hyuga Makoto-** Using the NERV camera systems to spy on Captain Katsuragi will not go well for you. If you do not stop, we _will_ tell her.

 **Ibuki Maya-** The previous statement applied to all of the Evas. Whether it is Unit 00 or 01, their Jet Strips are not to be used for sledding.

 **Katsuragi Misato-** You've been awfully quiet of late. I feel that this is cause for alarm.


	3. This is(not) a Lull

**Chapter 3:** This is(not) a Lull

 **A Missive From the Commander**

ATTENTION EVERYONE: After a week of exceptionally good behavior, we are finally allowing Captain Katsuragi to hold her Movie Night. If you wish to attend, it will be at 7:00 PM tonight.

* * *

 **Akagi Ritsuko-** No matter how much someone annoys you, the proper response is not pushing them off the Eva cage walkways

 **Aoba Shigeru-** Your submission for a Metal Concert in the Geofront has been rejected. Captain Katsuragi is only allowed to hold her Movie Night due to special circumstances, so don't even think about using that for an argument.

 **Ayanami Rei-** Standing behind someone silently and giving them a chill down their spine is not an an acceptable way to attract their attention.

 **Fuyutsuki Kozou-** Why have you been requisitioning so much orange drink mix?

 **Hyuga Makoto-** We warned you of the consequences that would occur if you continued to spy on Captain Katsuragi. It was your own fault.

 **Ibuki Maya-** We do not need Power Armor. Really, I would expect that from Aoba, not you.

 **Katsuragi Misato-** You do not owe Hyuga an apology for your actions, however his hospital bills will be taken out of your paycheck


End file.
